Success Salad

The book I’m reading now is based on personal mastery. It’s written by Dr. Rao, who has actually developed a college-level course on the topic–which I think is too cool for school. Seriously, it’s my dream to teach these kinds of classes for at-risk youth…actually any youth, since I know from first hand experience and all the research and teaching I’ve done that, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, and more people need to know this is true.

The book is called, “Are You Ready to Succeed,” and it starts out almost assaulting our senses of reality….but the beauty of it is that once we realize that nearly everything we perceive is indeed an illusion of our own making, we have the power to change it.

Dr. Rao focuses on what he calls, “Mental Models,” and how they really and truly do affect and impact nearly everything we do. His definition is “…a notion we have about how the world works…” Coincidentally (if there is such a thing), the very moment I was reading Dr. Rao’s mind-expanding words, I was, in fact, experimenting my own faulty mental model.

Earlier that morning, my husband and I were doing our early morning Saturday morning thing: sitting at the kitchen table and reading. He asked me if I wanted to go to the Bodega Bay for the day and I declined. Too much stuff to do. Then he asked me if I wanted to go on a bike-ride (we like to ride the bike trail 20-30 miles). I said I did, but I first want to go to the gym (yes, I see as I type this how crazy that sounds).

With that said, I got ready for the gym and he did his thing. I came home early since I started to get excited for our bike ride, but my hubby was no where to be found. I looked high and low—and he never carries his cell phone on the weekends–but he was gone.

At first I worried. Then I got mad. How dare he make plans with me and then take off. I fidgeted, I waited, I fumed. Then finally, after I realized there would be no bike ride for me that day, I resigned to float in the pool for a little while, soak up some some and read Dr. Rao’s wise words.

That was when I realized I was smack-dab in the middle of my own faulty mental model. I was jumping to conclusions left and right, ready to give my husband a piece of my mind when he got back.

And Dr. Rao was right.

Late in the afternoon, my husband walks in, head down, camera in hand, and I ask him where he went. He told me, that since I had said I didn’t want to go to the coast with him, or on a bike ride with him (WHAT?), that he decided to take a drive by himself and hike along the beach.

As it turns out, he only heard me say I was going to the gym. He didn’t hear me say I would go on a bike ride afterward. Maybe I said it too softly, or maybe my body language suggested something else. Who knows? What I do know is that he spent the day feeling rejected, thinking I didn’t want to spend time with him, and I spent the day feeling indignant, as if I’d been stood up for a date. We were both wrong.

So we really have to ask ourselves, regardless of the situation we are in: am I in the middle of a mental model that is not serving me right now?

Success starts with being aware of our beliefs since we all operate from our belief system. To assume is always a mistake, especially where matters of the heart are concerned.

Let’s think on that today

Ta ta for now,

Tamara

“Are You Ready to Succeed: Unconventional Strategies for Achieving Personal Mastery” Srikumar S. Rao, Hyperion, ISBN: 1-4013-0193-2

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